02: an 80° day in april, some thoughts on magic, a sweet little poem
what's emily reading (and writing, and listening to, and watching...)
Eighty degrees in April is almost diabolical. The norm for Nashville, Tennessee, of course, but the New Yorker that still lives in my heart thinks she can’t take it, although they’re currently experiencing the second coming of winter, so I’m not sure who’s got it worse.
Instead of hiding inside with the air conditioning blasting like I’d really like to do, I took my ass outside and sat on a patio with a sweating iced vanilla latte (with oat milk, obv), and I read for an hour. Did I slather myself in sunscreen? Yes. Did I miss a bit of my nose and get a lopsided sunburn? Also yes. But it was a great time! An enormous goal of mine this year was to be outside during the short-lived season between March and May when the weather is…actually really nice. High 60s-low 80s, dry. Sunny. Sometimes a thunderstorm or two - sometimes severe - but otherwise, you can walk outside in the middle of the day and not want to die. And I told myself I would spend as much of that time as I possibly could (lunch breaks, weekend mornings, evenings after work) outside, on patios and in parks. Our back deck can be nice, but I had a disastrous run-in with two ticks a spring ago, so the backyard and I, we…stay out of each other’s business.
This day I went to one of my favorite little coffeeshops (Ugly Mugs, if you’re a Nashvillian), took my laptop in case anything dire at work came up, and I read on my lunch break. Sipped my latte. I put on a cute little outfit and I sat in public for an hour, and when it was time to go home, I felt great. Refreshed, even. And I realized that the vitamin D truthers might actually be on to something.
One thing I really think I took for granted when I lived in New York was just…being able to sit outside without feeling like you were roasting like a pig over a spit. It’s hard to leave the house from May until October down here, really, unless it’s before dawn or after dusk, and even then, sometimes it’s unbearable. I typically go home once a summer and that reprieve - reading outside in the sun, walks through the Ithaca Commons at the middle of the day, evenings spent in my mom’s screened-in porch, watching horror movies - it renews me.
I’ve been so mindful this year to pay attention as it gets greener here every day. I feel like, usually, I wake up one morning and I’m like, fuck, were the trees this lush yesterday? Was the birdsong quite this loud? But this year, I really noticed it as it was happening, and that mindfulness has caused something inside of me to snap back into place, something I hadn’t realized was askew.
It’s something we come to expect, every single year. The changing of the seasons isn’t a surprise, but it’s also no longer some wonderful thing, like it used to be when we were kids and everything was full of magic. This year, I let it be full of magic for me. I watched the magnolia trees bloom and then watched as the rain washed away every petal. They were beautiful for a week, but we’ll see them again next year. I wake up every morning and if the sun is shining, I make a promise to myself that I’ll get outside sometime before it sets. If it’s raining, I open the windows and I let that smell in. And I’ve really started to notice a difference in my days.
what’s emily reading?
I think the better question is what aren’t I reading, because my God, I can’t seem to finish a book to save my life this month. I think it was Funny Story by Emily Henry’s doing — I listened to the audiobook at the beginning of the month, and now I don’t want to think about anything else. I should have a full review for that to share by the end of the month on my blog, if that interests you. In the meantime, here are a few books I’ve finished this year and a few I’m in the middle of, and whether I think I’d recommend them:
Anyone’s Ghost by August Thompson — my God, yes, please read this. It’s out in July and it’s one of the strongest debuts I’ve ever read.
Rainbow Black by Maggie Thrash — this one has been on quite a few anticipated lists this year, I’ve noticed, and one thing I want to make perfectly clear is that this isn’t a story about witchcraft; it’s a story about a young girl whose entire life is upended, and who is constantly failed by everyone who was meant to ferry her into adulthood. I really enjoyed it.
I read What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher in January of this year and am still thinking about it — I can’t wait to pick up the (interconnected but not really?) sequel ASAP.
I’m currently reading Modern Divination by Isabel Agajanian, which is getting trad pubbed next year (eep!!), but that also means that, unless you have a physical copy, it won’t be available to read until then. Sorry! I would highly, highly recommend it, though!
I’m also in the middle of We Ate the Dark by Mallory Pearson, which is, to me, like if Yellowjackets and The Raven Cycle had a baby, and that baby lived in eastern Tennessee.
More books I’m in the middle of and have very little if no thoughts about at all just yet - hopefully back to you soon with some:
The Country Will Bring Us No Peace by Matthieu Simard
Sunbringer by Hannah Kaner (Fallen Gods #2)
Come Closer by Sara Gran (I started this at night in bed and got so scared I had to stop reading lol)
How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu (I have admittedly been reading this one for a long time!)
Little subscription box break. (Sorry.)
Okay, back to scheduled programming.
what’s emily writing?
Not much, if I’m entirely honest. I feel like I’m always an OR girl, not an AND girl; if I’m reading, I’m not writing. If I’m writing, I’m not reading. And so it goes.
I have been studying up on the three-, five-, and seven-act story structures (although I suppose that counts as what I’m reading, eh?), as well as the heroine’s journey (a concept coined by Maureen Maddock - here’s a great piece that outlines the differences between it and the hero’s journey).
I’m trying so, so hard to sit down and plan out the story I’ve been writing on and off for the last decade or so, but I fear that in order to do so, I’ll have to scrap what I actually have, because I’m realizing that everything I have written is half-baked and unusable, and I think that scares me. I’m working up the courage. I’ll get there!
I’m writing some poems here and there, too. Little ditties that won’t go anywhere but the notebook I write them in, but it’s feeling reeeeal good to flex those muscles. I always want to write poetry in the spring. Something about it just feels right!
what’s emily listening to?
Oh, God, you guys, so much. If you didn’t know, I run a music magazine/blog in my spare time (of which I have a dwindling amount recently), and I do a lot of discovery for that, which means I am constantly on Spotify listening to artists I’ve never heard of before. Here’s some that I’ve found lately that I’ve been super into!
Sløtface
EFÉ
Sarah Crean
Lizzie Esau
Blondes
Hockey Dad
Okay, and now here’s some that I’ve loved for a while and whom I think deserves giant bouquets of flowers:
Nieve Ella (try “The Things We Say,” “Car Park,” and “His Sofa”)
Blondshell (try “Olympus,” “Docket ft Bully,” and “Salad”)
Haley Blais (try “Coolest fucking bitch in town,” “Concrete,” and “The Cabin”)
The Last Dinner Party (try “Sinner,” “Feminine Urge,” and “My Lady of Mercy”)
Gretel (try “Motorbike,” “Connie,” and “Apple Juice”)
Rachel Chinouriri (her song “The Hills,” my God, but also try “Never Need Me” and “It Is What It Is”!)
Siobhán Winifred (try “Killers” and “Sober” - she has four songs out, but she’s just signed a record deal and will have a new tune “Lungs” out soon!)
Ellur (try “Anywhere” and “Free”)
Dolores Forever (try “Baby Teeth,” “When I Say So,” and “Someday Best”)
CMAT (try “California,” “Stay For Something,” and “Have Fun!”)
I saw CMAT this past weekend for a sweet little radio show at 3rd and Lindsley in Nashville, and it was so lovely. Her set was only thirty minutes long, but I’ve loved her for a while, so it was so cool!
Amphitheater season is coming up, and I’ll be working some pretty cool shows this summer. I also have a few shows I have tickets for that I’m really looking forward to, too:
Holly Humberstone (I don’t have a ticket to this show, but by God, you best believe I will be there)
Pom Pom Squad
Flyte
From Indian Lakes
Royal Blood
PVRIS
I went to a lot of shows in 2022 and 2023 (like, I saw almost 150 artists across 100+ shows and festivals, including events I worked), so this is my chill the fuck out year. I’m trying to be responsible with my money blah blah blah, so I’m only buying tickets to see artists I can’t live without seeing. Flyte and From Indian Lakes are two bands I’ve loved for a loooong time that I’ve never had the opportunity to see live, and when they announced shows in Nashville I nearly cried.
I’ve also been listening to Mallory Pearson’s playlists for We Ate the Dark, which have been a source of misery for me the past few weeks (the playlists, not the book. Also, I say this lovingly, because the book is undoing me in the best way).
And “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter has been on repeat — and if not the song, then the Spotify radio, because, inject pop music into my VEINS when it gets nice out like this. And Charli XCX’s “B2b”!
what’s emily watching?
I’ve been rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer this year, although it’s slow going. When I previously watched it, I only got about two seasons in, and that’s roughly what I’ve watched so far this go-around, so I haven’t seen anything I hadn’t already seen before. I find myself not reaching for TV unless it’s Abbott Elementary because, duh, it’s perfect. I usually watch YouTube while I work (because I work in the influencer industry, hiiii) and while I’m eating (because I’m a queen and the YouTuber is my little court jester, I’m throwing cheese at them and giggling, yelling at them to dance faster).
I’ve also seen a few really good movies recently (silly little Letterboxd account plug), including Challengers, which was one of my most anticipated films of the whole year and for me, it really lived up to my excitement. It was a lot more about tennis than I thought it would be, which, like, duh, but it was riveting. Luca Guadagnino, first Bones and All and now this? I owe you my life. If you have seen this movie, please, please, I neeeeeeed to talk about it. I’m seeing it again tonight (April 25th).
I saw Abigail this past weekend, which was a lot of fun, too. I also recently watched The Matrix for the very first time in my entire life, and oh my God, it was so good (again, duh).
What else is new? Well, not a whole lot. I feel like, these days, if I’m not working, I’m reading or I’m playing Stardew Valley (although I did just divorce my wife, Leah, after five years of marriage to date Harvey…the “Too Sweet” edits got me).
Oh! I got a new pair of shoes. If we’re friends on Instagram, you’ll have seen them a ridiculous amount of times considering I only bought them about a month ago, but I love them. They’re not very comfortable, but God, they’re so cute! I also met Paramore this past weekend?! Still haven’t processed that…
Anyways. I hope you’re all doing well. I have lots of ideas for nonsense to write about and send off into the ether, so if you like reading other people’s random thoughts, you’re in for a big, big treat. Have a lovely last week of April. I’ll leave you with this poem, one of my favorites, by Billy Collins :)
If ever there were a spring day so perfect,
so uplifted by a warm intermittent breezethat it made you want to throw
open all the windows in the houseand unlatch the door to the canary's cage,
indeed, rip the little door from its jamb,a day when the cool brick paths
and the garden bursting with peoniesseemed so etched in sunlight
that you felt like takinga hammer to the glass paperweight
on the living room end table,releasing the inhabitants
from their snow-covered cottageso they could walk out,
holding hands and squintinginto this larger dome of blue and white,
well, today is just that kind of day.
xoxox, emily
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I’ve never been to Ugly Mugs but I’ll have to go the next time I’m at Novelette